How many times have you heard and/or said 'It's not what you say; it's how you say it'? That is the theme of this month's guidance lessons. During the month of October, I will be teaching students in each grade level about verbal and non-verbal communication. Here are a few highlights so you can quiz your kid and see if they were listening :) (Disclaimer: 7th grade students will not hear this lesson until next Tuesday. You can give them a little bit of a break).
When we speak, 70% of what people hear comes from our body language, or non-verbal communication, while only 30% comes from the actual words we are saying. Non-verbal communication can include: eye contact, hand gestures, personal space, posture, tone of voice, and facial expressions.
Example:
Parent says: "How was your day?"
Student says: "Good." (hands on hips, eyes rolling, sarcasm flowing)
What parent hears: "Ugh, why do we have to talk about this again?"
Three common mistakes we make with our non-verbal communication is that our body language is either too strong, too weak, or confusing. During this lesson students were able to practice saying a simple phrase while using different tones of voice, different eye contact, and different posture. They also had the opportunity to role play different scenarios and practice using strong, confident body language while not making one of the mistakes listed above.
Though it may seem obvious to us, our children are often unaware of the messages they communicate to their family and friends through their non-verbal communication. If your child can get an 'attitude' while speaking to you, try having a conversation in front of a bathroom or hallway mirror so they can see themselves. You can also record the conversation on a cell phone or computer so they can hear their tone of voice. We can only expect children to learn what we model and teach for them. Their body language can be an opportunity for a very teachable moment!
