Addressing Suicide

Yesterday a 13 year old boy in a neighboring community took his own life.  This tragic loss of life has left behind a grieving family and a community struggling to find answers.  As hard as it is to comprehend suicide as an adult, it is even harder for kids.  So, how do we help our children find the help, comfort, and support they will need in the coming days and weeks?

HELPING YOUR CHILD COPE WITH SUICIDE

- Acknowledge the sadness of this tragedy.  Affirm the emotions they are feeling.
- Answer their questions as factually as possible. You may not have all of the answers.
- Encourage your child to talk about the deceased. Recounting fond memories and talking about their common interests and experiences is healthy.
- Your child may benefit from talking with someone such as a pastor, family friend, counselor, coach or other trusted adult about their feelings and concerns. Help them seek out those people.
- Do not shy away from answering your child's questions and helping them process their feelings, but try to avoid focusing on the act of suicide itself.
- Be aware that overemphasis of the suicidal act may be interpreted by vulnerable students as a glamorization of the suicidal act, which can assign idolized status to taking one's own life.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

- Talk with your child about attending the funeral service. Allow them to attend if they desire. If they have never attended a funeral, talk with them about what will happen, what they will see, and what they will do. Also talk with them about what to say to family and friends who are grieving.

- Help them understand the stages of grief:  (for more information click HERE)
            1. Denial/Numbness/Shock
            2.  Bargaining
            3.  Depression/Sadness
            4.  Anger
            5.  Acceptance
Let them know that experiencing these emotions is a normal part of the grieving process.  There is no set time limit.  Everyone will move through these stages at a different pace.  At times, they may repeat certain stages.  Knowing what emotions to expect, and understanding the process can help children cope with the loss. 

- Help your child find positive ways to cope:  writing their emotions and thoughts in a journal, physical activity, talking with empathetic adults/peers, continuing activities such as music lessons, scouts, youth group, sports, etc.
- Maintain as much normalcy in your daily life while still being sensitive to the events and emotions that your child is experiencing.


There is no exact formula to help your child cope.  It will be sad for many people involved including you.  Being present and letting your child know that you are here for them is the most important step you can take during this time.  As their emotions change, continue to remind them that you are available to listen whenever they are ready to talk.  If they are not ready now, they may be in the future.