Bullying is a hot topic in schools these days, but it is often misunderstood. Kansas Law defines bullying as an act that is intentional, repeated, intimidating and creates fear of harm to a person or property. Click here for a flow chart that explains this in more detail.
At the middle school level there are many reports of bullying that are not actually bullying. Many of them are inappropriate behavior, but once investigated we often find that the sitaution is a two-sided conflict between two students. Unfortunately, the media has made us hyper-sensitive to the term 'bullying' making us believe that if our child is bullied it could eventually lead to them hurting themselves or worse. Therefore, when our child comes home and tells us she has been bullied we immediately put on our protector pants and jump in to put a stop to it. While it is certainly understandable that no parent will stand for their child being bullied, jumping in immediately may actually be hurting your child more than helping.
Building a sense of self-confidence is one of the most crucial parts of adolescent development. It is also one of the hardest. Teaching a child how to advocate for himself is one of the best ways to help him build self-confidence. A child can advocate for himself by confronting the person he has a conflict with and talking through the situation. A child can also advocate for himself by reporting the situation to an adult at home and at school. A parent's number one priority is to take care of their child. We want them to be safe and confident in themselves. The next time your child mentions a conflict at school, give them the courage to advocate for themselves and always let them know they have your full support.
